Greeting Routines
Teaching our dogs how to politely greet people starts with knowing when to greet or not to greet!
Graphic thanks to Dr. Sophia Yin, DVM, MS and Cattle Dog Publishing.
In our society it’s common for people to see a dog, run up and just start talking to and petting him. Most of us agree if a person did that to us, no matter how friendly or well-meaning, we wouldn’t like it. Neither do many dogs!
On the other hand, some dogs have the “Curse of the friendly dog.” They love people, and for them it’s see people, pull, lunge, bark, and jump! Every person is an opportunity for reinforcement!
The first step in any greeting routine is teaching your dog not to worry that every person coming by will invade their personal space and say hello, or not every person coming by is an opportunity for your dog to go say hello!
Set the Criteria
Before your dog can greet a person you need to have a picture in mind of what he will do to earn that greeting. You also need criteria for what the person will do before petting your dog.
Remember you get what you reinforce so if your dog is exuberantly pulling and jumping when he just sees a person and then is allowed to say hello what has been reinforced? Yup! Exuberant pulling and jumping!
What about the person? We’ve all been there right? A friendly person approaches and politely asks to pet your dog. Yay! Good job for asking! You kindly explain, “My dog is in training. If he jumps on you please walk away.” What does the friendly, well-meaning person respond? “Oh I don’t mind! I love dogs!” Of course we’re glad they love your dog, but if they pet your overexcited dog what’s being reinforced? Yup! An over excited jumping dog!
You are in a 15 year relationship with your dog. You have his back at all times! That friendly stranger on the street? You’ll probably never see them again, but if you do I bet they remember to ask before interacting with your dog!
You should never allow your dog to be petted by someone who hasn’t asked to pet him. Why not? Think of what behavior you are reinforcing in the person: rudely assuming dogs are common property and they don’t have to ask before touching your dog. Not what we want people to do right? So make sure if someone starts to pet your dog without asking you call your dog to you and back up a step. Explain that your dog is in training and has to have permission before interacting with a person. If the person wants to be part of your training great! If not they can move along. Remember! You are in a 15 year relationship with your dog. You have his back at all times! That friendly stranger on the street? You’ll probably never see them again, but if you do I bet they remember to ask before interacting with your dog!
The Criteria for Your Dog
So what behavior will your dog do before being given permission to go say hello? Here are some examples:
Greeting Routines: Practice Sessions
Stand near you
Play the Look at That game (LAT) in any position
Sit
Settle
Lay down
The emotional state your dog is in is just as important his position. If your dog is overexcited to see every person and then allowed to greet every person what are you reinforcing? Yup! Over excitement. How do you know what your dog is feeling? We can’t just ask him, so observe his body language! Watch for:
Breathing rate
Panting
Staring eyes
Frantically wagging tail
Quick body movements, such as feet shifting
These are signs of an over excited dog!
What is your criteria for your dog greeting a person?
My criteria is:
Standing near me with normal breathing rate, slowly wagging tail, normal eyes and ear position
Is able to respond to their name or play the LAT game
Waits till released to go say hello
Once you have in mind what your dog will do before he says hello you can start training. Step one is to train your dog not to say hello to everyone!
Not Yours!
Teaching your dog to wait to say hello sets everyone up for success! Because jumping on people is predicted by your dog’s behavior of staring, pulling, barking or other “over-excited” behaviors we need to teach dogs they will only say hello when given permission.
Can you imagine it? Your dog sees a friendly person and looks right up to you for permission to go say hi? How great would that be?
That’s where the “Not yours!” cue comes in. This is essentially a leave it cue, with the added benefit of telling people they also cannot greet your dog!
This cue:
Allows you time to set your dog up for success.
Keeps your dog from greeting someone that doesn’t want to say hello.
Tells an approaching person it’s not time to interact with your dog.
Start in a low distraction environment with a friend or family member as a volunteer. When your dog looks at the person, cheerfully cue, “Not yours!” When they look back at you click, then, give them a treat! Vary your location, volunteers, and distance you are from the person. Practice on leash and off leash. When your dog is reliably looking at you every time they hear the cue move to a more distracting area like the front yard.
If your dog doesn't respond to a “Not Yours!” cue call their name and move away from the person. If your dog can’t respond to their name you are too close to all distractions. Use a find it or hand touch to move your dog away and reset your practice session.
Greeting Routine
Your greeting routine is the pattern your dog can rely on to occur before every interaction. You’ve already set your dog’s criteria for position and emotional state before greeting a person. Now you need a position for your dog during the interaction.
Why Not Sit?
Most people want their dog to sit for greetings. This is a fine skill to teach your dog, but is not the only option and may not set your dog up for success. When we ask a dog to sit and stay for every greeting we take away their power of choice. Liken it to hugging a good friend. You may be willing, even want to hug your friend, but you choose the way the interaction takes place: how long the hug lasts, if you reach over their arms or under, do you place your cheek on their cheek or keep your distance? You have the power of choice. Just by allowing a dog to choose how to interact with a person we automatically see a reduction in jumping.
Use a “Go Say Hi!” Cue
Releasing your dog to “Go say hi!” allows the dog to get up from a sit and choose how they interact with a person, as long as they have all four feet on the ground!
First choose a sentence that sets the criteria for your dog as well as the friendly stranger. When someone asks, “Can I pet your dog?” you may reply:
“Please wait! He’s in training so if he jumps walk away.”
“Yes, but if his feet touch you, please walk away.”
“As long as she has all four feet on the ground.”
“When I tell her, “Go say hi,” but if she jumps please walk away.”
These are short declarative sentences that tell the person what to do and when to do it. Your dog will also start to recognize this sentence and wait to hear their release cue.
Once the person has been instructed, look at your dog and release them to, “Go say hi!” Watch the position in which your dog chooses to interact. Many dogs will approach a person, sniff them, then position themselves so the person can pet their back.
What if your dog doesn’t want to say hello to a stranger? That’s absolutely fine! A dog should never be forced to interact with a person she doesn’t want to.
A dog should never be forced to interact with a person she doesn’t want to.
Your, “Go say hi!” cue can help with these scenarios as well. You can reply, “If my dogs wants to.” Look at your dog and ask, “Do you want to say hi?” If the dog walks into the interaction, great! Procede with your greeting routine. If not, you can kindly tell the person, “Oh, he doesn’t want to today.” and move on your way.
The Greeting Do’s and Don’ts
When your dog is greeting a person DO:
Position yourself so you can support your dog. If the person gets down low to pet your dog, you squat down as well, if possible.
Keep a hand on your dog.
Stand in a place your dog can make eye contact with you.
Watch for signs of stress.
Call your dog out of a greeting before they jump or get overwhelmed.
Call your dog to you if the person ends the greeting to prevent your dog jumping while they walk away.
DON’T:
Stand at the end of your leash and leave your dog on their own.
Pay more attention to a stranger than your dog.
Place a strangers want’s above your dog’s needs.
Expect a person to know when to walk away.
Expect a person to know when your dog is getting stressed.
Allow a greeting to go on so long your dog gets overwhelmed or overexcited and jumps.
Final Thoughts
We can’t imagine how many scents coming off of people our dogs smell. What may smell pleasant to us may be overwhelming to our dogs. Even “nice” smells such a beauty products might be offensive to a dog’s sense of smell so keep in mind if your dog refuses to greet a person there is a reason and it’s okay! Always have your dog’s back.
In a future article we will discuss how to teach a dog to sit for greetings.